Supply

Lord supply.

Supply my need.

I don’t have have just one.

More like a ton.

I have the need to healed.

The need to be free.

I have the need of a higher self esteem.

The need of your presence.

The need of Your Spirit.

It’s more than the love from people.

It’s more like humbleness.

I need actually a double dose of that.

Because when they don’t call my name to recognize me for all I’ve done good, I’m ready to get hood.

Lord I need more of You in order to make it through.

I can’t fight this war in the natural.

I need Your expertise.

Lord it’s me.

Singing.

Worshipping.

Trying to Do everything right.

Its Your son. Your daughter.

Answer me please.

Lift this heavy burden.

I don’t want to feel this way.

The struggle.

The lonliness.

I need a new day.

Cause it will bring about new mercies, right?

It will bring with it joy.

I would like to smile from my heart again.

I forgot what that feels like.

Lately All of my smiles come attached with a “like.”

I wanna be set free from this marriage to society.

I tried to play by their rules, but I can’t win.

They set me up.

They sold me on a dream.

Keeping up with the next person wasn’t easy.

It was draining. Temporary. And left me poor.

The need for more kept boxes at my door.

I didn’t order clothes and jewelery online.

I actually ordered likes, compliments and envy.

Once the pics were released in media, people would want to be me.

Not knowing that my reality isn’t very glamorous.

So Lord, I tried everything in this world to feel the void. 

I sought after it all, but Your love.

All I need is You.

Im ready for more.

Send an outpouring  of Your Spirit.

I give up my will for Yours.

Supply.

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Can you hear Me now?

It was 2011. I was cruising through life. Caught up in doing things my way knowing good and well I was going against God. But I was ok with this. Why? Because my God is soooo gracious. Yupp, I was doing my thing and didn’t care. I had SOME nerve!! 

So one night around 10 pm, I was chilling. The room completely dark. The room was quiet. I was alone. So I thought. All of a sudden, I  heard “don’t take advantage of My grace.” I jumped up and looked around the room. I got up and turned the light on. Looked around some more. Now, I did all of this knowing that I wasn’t going to find anyone in the room but me. I knew it was God. I sat on the bed. Thought about what I heard and immediately repented.

This would be first of many times I heard Him.

Now, I wish I could say that I got my act together right then and there. I wish I could say I became this great Christian… nope! (But thats another blog for another day)

After the moment I just told you about, years passed before I heard the voice of the Lord again. Sure, I knew His hand was on my life. Yes, I would see signs of Him being present. But He wasn’t speaking. Or was He? It wasn’t until I joined my church on a months fast in January 2016 that I began to recognize His voice. As I was fasting and praying (because they go hand in hand) I would take a moment to stop and listen. The more I tried to hear, the more I heard. Now during this time of fasting, I needed to make a decision in life and needed to know if this was Him or not. At times, I would think I heard Him , then would brush it off. Like naaaa, that was just me talking. This happened a lot during that month. Then one day I was sitting in the living and I said something (I can’t remember what) , but His response was “I’ve been speaking all along.” My mouth dropped. Clarity. This is all I wanted. To hear and recognize my Lords voice. This was a humbling experience. I wanted to cry and smile at the same time. Who was I that He would decide to visit me, sit with me, and talk. I was grateful. 

As I grew, I looked back on the event. I realized that I made myself available. I sought after and found Him. I called and He answered. As I quieted the noise around me, the volume of His increased. 

When was the first time you heard God speak? When was the last time You heard Him? Have you ever heard Him? How do you know when He is speaking?


You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.
Jeremiah 29:13 NIV

Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.
James 4:8 NIV

But the Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you.
John 14:26 NIV

Whoever has ears, let them hear what the Spirit says to the churches.”
Revelation 3:22 NIV

The Lord said, “Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the Lord , for the Lord is about to pass by.” Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the Lord , but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper.

1 Kings 19:11‭-‬12 NIV